Time to get out of the bath!
The tipping point.
When
and brought up the challenge to write about tipping point I wondered what was mine and thought I didn’t have any significant enough to write about, until I realized I was living “the tipping point”.A paused life.
Guess I had to read Mark’s words to understand what it exactly was.
For ones who haven’t read his tipping point newsletter he wrote this:
"I love a long hot bath, it's probably my favourite way to relax. But they don't stay hot forever and after a while you end up sat in a lukewarm soup of your own filth, sweat and skin cells. Not cold enough to get out, not hot enough to enjoy, just sitting there, with fingers and toes slowly turning into prunes, wondering what you’re doing with your existence? That’s how I felt, except it wasn't just in the bath, it was a relationship."
For me it was my career.
I have always been ambitious, loved to dream and work on them, but when life doesn’t go the way one plans it to, one has to have an alternative path to steer their vehicle that way, I had none. Stuck as we all do at some point, I didn’t wanted to go back because I already did. Five times.
Then, well I have to create a path of my own and to do that I need tremendous energy, not the physical or spiritual one, the mental energy. I was exhausted (or perhaps am) but I also believe I will come out of it, by taking small steps and crying on the way (LOL).
The struggle though is not that I am living the tipping point, it’s writing about it, because when we watch videos or read stories of people who have struggled, we watch or read to find what resonates with us, how they achieved or reached their goals not to see how they are struggling. I haven’t reached my goals yet and so its challenging to tell what I am actually going through and what I aim to achieve.
To look back and see how I came to be here: I have always wanted to become a medical doctor as long as I can remember, perhaps one of the first things that was instilled in me by my parents was to become a doctor. I think it was largely because my mother wished to become one but couldn’t. Anyways it became a dream of my own. Always been a nerd and an introvert. In teenage years when all my friends would throw parties I would stay at home reading or studying, then came the university days (gratefully), I had hard time enjoying my teenage years and early twenties. I realize now that my greatest happiness was in satisfying my parents and my family and that was all I was doing regardless of what fulfilled me. After graduation( YAY finally a medical degree ....but) and giving post graduation exam to be accepted in residency and not being selected after applying for 4 times brought me to my tipping point, the lukewarm water. I was even a leader in one of the projects but still got rejected ( I still cant believe it).
Mega punch on the face telling me that as crucial and important it is to learn and struggle to have a great life in the future, it is crucial to live as well. I have no memories except for when I was in hospital with my friends, I have no memories of having the best moments of life, except for late night studying under caffeine. I have friends offcourse, the best, one can get infact. But no love life, no heart breaks. Nothing. No story to tell about my love at first sight, no tales of how my heart broke into pieces when they left. ( Ugh, do I sound frustrated)
For now I am pausing to reflect on my life decisions and see what I can change.
Because now when I meet people (or avoid them), I dont have anything to say.
So, this time I wont wait, whatever the result, I will have something of my own, perhaps now I will live, better late then never.
I may sound ungrateful but I am not, I am quite satisfied to have this tipping point to see what skills I can use, and extremely glad that it introduced me to the art of writing.
Surely, time to get out of the bath and take risks. Lets see what happens.
( That is My tipping point, a kaleidoscope challenge by and .
I wouldn't have written this, if it weren't for this exciting challenge. So I thank you both for coming up with such a brilliant idea.)
Hafsa, this was such a raw and beautifully honest reflection, thank you for sharing it. I can feel the weight of your journey and the courage it’s taking to navigate your tipping point.
I love how you’ve turned this challenge into an opportunity to reflect and discover through writing about it, as you are living it, that you need a change. It's more than I could have imagined that starting it would bring.
There’s such power in articulating the inbetween stages of life, even if your end goal isn’t clear yet, just regognising that you're on the path to change is a great first step. Just remember that our struggles are as much a part of the story as our triumphs, they make us who we are.
Here’s to creating your own path and living boldly, it’s never too late to live the life you truly want. Wishing you strength and inspiration as you step out of the bath, wrap the towel around you and step into the future. ❤️
Hafsa, you’re the person I interact with the most and who has inspired me the most in this community. Learning more about your current experience only deepens my appreciation for the depth and insight you bring to your writing. For someone as thoughtful and sensitive as you, I’m confident it’s only a matter of time before you find your way to a more fulfilling (life) journey. :)